'Hell's Kitchen' Season 9, Episode 3 '15 Chefs Compete' Recap

Tonight's Episode: "You Don't Care About the Children!"

The women need to decide on who goes to the blue team, and very wisely decide that Elise and Carrie need to be split up (thank the lord). Carrie finally volunteers, which is great for the red team and terrible for the blue team. Because, you know, Carrie sucks.

The wake-up this week is clowns. Yeah, they literally get woken up by a gang of clowns...that's because the contestants "cook like a bunch of clowns."

When Ramsay shows up and hears that Carrie has volunteered, he simply says no, and then sends Natalie over. The tables have turned! That's great for the blue team, and terrible for the red team. Not only do they lose a strong team member, but they still have Carrie and Elise. That's pretty clearly the producers saying "we need those two in as close of proximity as possible."

The challenge is to cook pasta and quesadillas for a group of children. You'd think that these bozos could manage these very simple dishes, but the women actually manage to burn one and think that it's okay to send it out. The blue team is finally clicking while the red team is dealing with Elise's screeching, and that leads to the blue team winning the challenge.

Should these children be within earshot of Gordon Ramsay? I feel like they're going to be picking up some new words today.

Hey, Jonathan's cracking jokes! Things get more hilarious, though, when the blue team goes to Medieval Times. After a dinner and a show, the team gets to learn some swordplay themselves. Shouldn't they be learning how to not screw up panini? The red team, meanwhile, has to assemble a playground for family night. That puts them all in a bad enough mood for Carrie to get in an argument with pretty much everyone. Elise is actually sitting there quietly while Jamie and Carrie go at it.

Chino and Gina will be assisting in the dining room, so the kitchens will be short one contestant each. Will Natalie be the lucky charm for the blue kitchen? Not quite yet, as Chino is unable to legibly write a ticket and forgot to ask what sides the tables wanted.

But eventually they get it together, and the red team is the one to hit a major snafu: Jennifer and Carrie (surprise surprise) make two of the wrong entrees on their very first ticket. Then, Amanda starts royally messing up at the fish station. The icing on the cake is Carrie serving up lamb that's practically raw. Ramsay actually forces them to go around to every table and apologize for their crappy service. So it looks like the children at the tables on the red team's side are going to be hungry. At least they have a playground to play on.

So, the red team faces the music. Will the producers allow Carrie, the major source of drama on the show, to leave? Jennifer, Carrie and Amanda are the three that Ramsay calls up.

Okay, Elise needs to get that smug, satisfied expression off her face, or I might throw something. This is why Elvis shot his TV.

The three state their cases, but Ramsay kicks Amanda out for her screw-ups on the fish and for giving up instead of fighting through. She's embarassed for herself and in tears over the elimination...and I don't blame her. Anyone that doesn't out-last Carrie should be pretty embarassed. Of course, I have a sneaking suspicion that Carrie's around for her ability to piss everyone off.

Insult of the Week: "It's like a f**king baby's flip-flop."