Episode 'Gossip Girl' Season 4, Episode 16 - While You Weren't Sleeping Recap

During last night's episode of Gossip Girl, we cheered on Bass Industries, thought VERY carefully about the union of Blair and Dan, and still don't have a f___ clue as to what Ben's agenda is.

We know the brosef is crazy as a handful of straws, but what exactly is he after?

As we do in every recap, it's time to recall the events of last night.  Heck, we'll even talk about the ones that made us scratch our Fekkai'd heads.

Speaking of Fekkai'd heads who rarely see a brush, how irritating it must be for Dan to find Serena at his apartment so often.  She's here to see her ex-con boyfriend, Ben!

"Sorry if we kept you up up last night.  We were playing Scrabble," Serena said coyly to Dan.  Dan looked like he wanted to rip her head off, then bolted for the door to avoid anymore talk of code words for sex. 

It was only a matter of time before Dorota would resort to dressing/grooming Blair.  Where she once had the time to do so herself, Blair has given Dorota the added tasks of zipping and combing.  And watch the skin while you're zipping her up.  No self-respecting powergirl can be driven to work with a welt on her back.  It chafes against the $3000 tweed, even with a $400 slip serving as a buffer.

It suprises me that Blair owns a PC laptop and not a Mac Book. 

Eric's eighteenth birthday party falls on the day he's supposed to "help" traffic drugs for Damien.  Eric confides to Ben and Serena that if he doesn't help out with Damien's business, Damien will tell all the wrong people about Lilly's forging of her daughter's signature that put Ben behind bars.

Ben can't understand why Serena would just tell Damien to go pound sand and let him make good on this threat.  Serena blows the whistle and cries loyalty to Lilly.  Ben is thoroughly disappointed by this vow, unable to understand why Serena would defend her mother after everything that happened.  Dude, she just got reacquainted with you.  As pissed as she might be at Lilly, Serena's not about to turn her in for the TOTALLY illegal and unjust thing she did. 

I'm trying so hard to fight my feelings of happiness over a budding romance between Blair and Dan.  I don't want it to happen and yet...I do.  I love their chemistry, their bickering and their witty banter. 

There's Vanessa, back from the commune.  Looks like she washed her hair.

Serena: "Arrrgh, I hate professional gift-wrapping."
Lilly: "What are you doing?  Do you know how gauche it is to open gifts before dessert?"

Alright, I'm trying to piece together the last fifteen minutes of Gossip Girl.  Lilly caught Eric dipping into his trust fund for hush money.  Lilly herself then handed Damien $100K for the same reason (This woman has a knack for always doing the right thing), which Damien gallantly skips off with.  Once on the mean streets of the UES, Damien has a run-in with Ben, who snaps the check from his grubby little hands.

A few words are exchanged, and Ben threatens to kill Damien should he ever leak the story about Lilly.  This gets me to thinking: What does Ben have planned? Initially I thought Ben was going to run off with the money and start fresh.  Then he appeared at Lilly's apartment to make peace with the family and return the check.

My only two conclusions at this point are A) Ben is crazy and obsessed with Serena B) Ben is planning to take down Lilly himself and Serena is collateral damage (plus an easy lay).  Whatever it is, hopefully Vanessa can shed some light.  She's needs redemption at this point and witnessing the exchange between Damien and Ben was a very fortunate thing for her social status.

Damn you, Humphrey!  Why must you end this episode cuddled on the couch with Blair, gourmet pizza on the coffee table and a Katherine Hepburn flick playing on the small screen?  Why?  Resist!  No, don't.  Yes, resist.  Wait! I need more time to decide if I want this to happen.

Thoughts on last night's episode?