Episode 'Gossip Girl' Season 4, Episode 13 - How To Seduce An Ex-Con Recap

The more we progress with "Gossip Girl", the more confused I become.  GG does this to us.  We're lead on a wild goose chase through convoluted storylines and not-so-obvious hints dropped by the likes of Lilly van der Woodsen-Bass-Humphrey.

Why does she keep throwing hush-money at the underprivileged Sharps?  Why does she insist Ben has dangerous information that could ruin her family?  What the sod is going on!

If nothing else, we can always count on Serena to act like a total idiot when it comes to the opposite sex.  Ben and his sister Juliette almost pulled off quite the takedown of Serena van der Boobies.  And yet, here she is trying to date him.  It's understandable that Serena carries guilt for what her mother did to Ben, but to throw caution to the wind and then herself at Ben isn't the best idea.  The man just got out of prison.  He may seem fine, but it's a long road back to where he started.

And believe it or not, Ben might still harbor resentment for you, pretty little Serena.  So, now is not the time to wear your tightest snowflake sweater or that cut-out LBD to win his still-thawing heart.  There are red lights flashing all around Ben's head, but leave it to you to mistake them for Care Bears.

If minute 59 of last night's episode was any indication, Ben's still a little crazy about Serena.  And by crazy I mean batsh__.  Although, I'm not sure why Damien got tossed against the wall for it.  Perhaps because he's just so darn cute?  Or maybe it's because he's kind of a crap weasel? Was Ben locked up for reasons other than being framed? Might he be guilty of a greater crime than the one he was "wrongfully" accused of?  These are the questions that plague us Tuesday mornings.  Fear not, my goss hounds.  We'll get to the bottom of this.

And who else dreads this budding friendship between Blair and Dan? I so wish the writers wouldn't do this to us.  Blair and Dan work better as two separate entities.  Do not bring Brooklyn and the Upper East Side together.  Though you share a mutual love for artists only hip New Yorkers can recall, we ask that you keep your interests separate and merely acknowledge each other at forced social gatherings.  It's best for everyone this way.

Oh, and don't even get me started on Nate's dad, the "captain."  What a slimeball that guy is.