'Glee' Season 3, Episode 18 Recap & Song List - 'Choke'

The episode begins with Rachel talking about physics. That's the extent of the semi-intelligent talk for the episode, so enjoy it while you can.

It was unfortunately clear from the beginning of the episode that Coach Roz, aka NeNe Leakes, would be playing a much larger role. She just won't go away, will she? This is a woman who quit "Celebrity Apprentice," people. She just left the show. And now she is an employed actress on a major TV show. I've said this before, and I'll say it again: there are so, so many other actresses out there who could have played this role, especially black actresses, for whom there aren't very many roles on network TV. But this show continues to roll with NeNe goddamn Leakes?

Anyway. When Coach Bieste shows up with a black eye, Santana and the other Glee girls crack jokes about Cooter hitting her, which sets Roz off on a rant about how those jokes aren't okay. "Glee" sure is selective about what is and isn't okay to joke about, considering all the jokes they make and insensitivity they show toward Artie's paralysis, but the sentiment is still good.

Thus, Sue teams up with Black Sue and John Goodman (her names for Roz and Bieste) to teach the girls a darned lesson by having them change a song that talks about hitting women into a song about empowerment. They never quite figure this one out by the end of the episode, perhaps because for once they were given a specific assignment that wasn't "sing vaguely about your feelings." They choose to do the "Cell Block Tango" from "Chicago," which completely misses the point.

As it turns out, Bieste actually was struck by Cooter after an argument. If that sounds like it came out of left field, it did, and that's kind of the point: Bieste tells the girls that you don't always see this sort of thing coming, and a few weeks ago she would have never thought that it would happen.

Sue tells her to stay at her place, but Bieste says she's staying with her sister and pressing charges against Cooter (I can't take this storyline seriously with a character named Cooter), and Sue is satisfied. However, when the girls sing "Shake it Out" to Bieste (still missing the point of the assignment), it is revealed that she gave Cooter another chance.

Meanwhile, Puck is worried that he won't graduate because of his impending European Geography exam. Did anyone else take a European Geography class in high school? World history, maybe. This seems specific. The guys help him out by tutoring him THROUGH SONG! I'll say this, that's probably the most creative use of a "My Fair Lady" song, if not the most annoying one.

Puck still fails. Surprise.

Rachel and Kurt are spending all their time preparing for their NYADA audition, which is inexplicably held in their own school's auditorium. That's not really how this works. Also, you don't usually audition with a fully produced number with backup dancers and a band, as Kurt does. You also usually don't get immediate praise from the casting director, but Kurt does for his risky choice of "Not the Boy Next Door" over "Music of the Night." He does so despite Rachel's warnings that he should do the Phantom song since he rehearsed it more. Since when do you people rehearse for anything? You still don't have a set list for Nationals.

Rachel, meanwhile, goes for the safe choice and does "Don't Rain On My Parade," only she forgets her words. Twice. After starting over a couple of times, the auditioner (who is played by Whoopi Goldberg, by the way, in one of the more useless cameos in this show's history) pretty much chews Rachel out for forgetting the words, and walks out. That also tends to not happen during auditions, by the way.

So, Puck might not graduate, which is apparently a problem even though he seems to have a business plan and might not even need it. Rachel might not get into NYADA. I guess she should have thought about applying to more than one school. Then again, when has logic ever played a role in these kids' lives?

This week's numbers:

"Music of the Night" - Phantom of the Opera - Kurt

"School's Out" - Alice Cooper - Puck

"Cell Block Tango" - Mercedes, Santana, Brittany, Tina, Sugar

"Not the Boy Next Door" - The Boy From Oz - Kurt

"The Rain in Spain" - My Fair Lady - New Directions Boys

"Shake It Out" - Florence + the Machine - Mercedes, Santana, Brittany, Tina, Sugar

"Cry" - Kelly Clarkson - Rachel

Sue's Line of the Week: "I have fantasized about slapping every last one of you with a sturdy, wet fish."

Joe's Line of the Week! "I'm going into full-blown prayer mode."

Performance of the Week: Rachel's "Cry." This is the level of talent that everyone needs to match if they're going to be getting solos every week. I'm looking at you, Rory.