'Glee' Season 3, Episode 11 - 'Michael' Review

It's the moment you've supposedly been waiting for! The "Glee" Michael Jackson tribute episode aired Tuesday night and with it, all logic flew out the window. Here are just a few of the WTF moments:

-The girls in the Troubletones talk about missing their "one chance to do Michael." What? So you sing MJ once for Sectionals and then you can never ever sing him again? You guys sang Journey like 20 times last year.

-The kids sit around talking about their favorite Michael Jackson memory. If it's 2012 and they're all 18, then they were probably only just becoming aware of pop music in 2002, which means MJ had already released all of his albums, and these kids would only know him as the creepy-looking white guy who slept with children.

-Speaking of which, Mr. Schue's "assignment" for the week is "WWMJD," which for the rubber bracelet impaired translates to What Would Michael Jackson Do? To which most people would probably answer, "touch children."

-New Directions and the Warblers have an "MJ-off" in a parking structure (who's judging this official contest?), then Santana and Sebastian have another "duel," and finally the Warblers are all invited to watch New Directions sing "Black or White" in the auditorium. These kids have very open schedules.

-In an attempt to write Darren Criss out of the next couple of episodes while he does his run of "How to Succeed" on Broadway, Sebastian throws a slushie laced with rock salt into Blaine's eye, scratching his cornea and requiring surgery. I'm not even sure where to begin here. The line "It wasn't a normal slushie!" doesn't help the versimilitude here.

-WHERE DID SAM GET THOSE LIGHTS FROM?

-WHY DO THE ACCOMPANISTS SIT THERE AWKWARDLY WATCHING RACHEL AND FINN KISS?

-And finally, here's a quote from the kids of New Directions: "You don't understand Michael, but we do." Yes, you, a bunch of suburban white teenagers from Ohio, really understand Michael Jackson. Bravo.

The episode wasn't all bad. I enjoyed that they got Artie out of his chair for "Scream" without having to make a big deal out of it. Fantasy has every right to be in this show, as long as it's not being passed off as reality. And while most of the MJ tributes were a little on-the-nose, the cover of "Smooth Criminal" with the cellos was cool. So was the face morph, though again with a group that's mostly white, it loses some of its intended effect.

But this was quite clearly an episode dedicated mostly to singing Michael Jackson songs, and much less to advancing plot and character in an engaging way. The dialogue was clunky and on the nose, and only Mike O'Malley (Burt) could really pull off his big empassioned speech, where the others failed.

Nonetheless, the attempts at advancement were these: Kurt is a "finalist" for NYADA (did he get in?), Quinn got into Yale, Sam and Mercedes kissed, and Rachel said yes to Finn and now might change her mind because she got into NYADA as well.

That could have all been accomplished in 10 minutes, but there was a lot of MJ singing to do.

This Week's Musical Numbers:

(All songs by Michael Jackson)

"Wanna Be Starting Something" - Blaine

"Bad" - New Directions/Warblers

"Scream" - Artie and Mike

"Never Can Say Goodbye" - Quinn

"Human Nature" - Mercedes and Sam

"Ben" - Kurt, Rachel and Finn

"Smooth Criminal" - Sebastian and Santana

"I Just Can't Stop Loving You" - Finn and Rachel

"Black or White" - New Directions