'Game of Thrones' Season 5, Episode 3 - 'High Sparrow' Recap

We open the week in Braavos, where Arya has finally gotten into the House of Black and White.

Jaqen H'ghar is being all Mr. Miyagi on Arya though, making her sweep floors and answering her questions in riddles. "There is only one god," he tells Arya. "A girl knows his name. And all know of his gift." Death, btw. He's talking about the god of death.

When another girl starts picking on Arya and Arya claims she's reading to become "no one," Jaqen makes a point: she's still surrounded by Arya Stark's things, so how could she be anything other than Arya Stark?

So Arya throws her possessions into the water, but when it comes to getting rid of Needle, she can't bring herself to do it. Instead, she hides it away among the rocks to find later.

King's Landing

Another wedding, another opportunity for Cersei to stare with vitriol from the crowd. Thus far, Tommen seems the opposite of Joffrey, being considerate and kind to Margaery. Margaery, for her part, is plenty kind to him as well...but she's definitely mining him for anything she can use against Cersei.

When Tommen starts suggesting to Cersei that she might be happier in Casterly Rock, Cersei goes to Margaery to spread some false kindness. Margaery takes full advantage of her new position of power over Cersei, hinting more than once at how many times she banged Cersei's son last night. Awkward.

Moat Cailin/Winterfell

It's been a while since we saw what became of Theon, or Reek as we might call him now. He overhears Roose Bolton tellling Ramsay that it's about time for him to marry, and that he's found the perfect woman for him.

Cut to Sansa. It appears that Petyr's plan is to marry Sansa off to Ramsay, a plan which Sansa is, shall we say, less than enthusiastic about. He uses his gift of persuasion to convince her to go along with it, at least for now.

Meanwhile, Brienne and Podrick continue to track Sansa, and are not far away. Pod remains ever cheerful, despite Brienne's gruffness, and she finally apologizes for how she's treated him. She also agrees to start training Pod in swordplay so he can become a knight.

Littlefinger gets in a bit of trouble when a message from Cersei Lannister comes in. Roose is distrustful of him, and rightfully so. The message calls Littlefinger back to King's Landing, which would be problematic considering he'd be leaving Sansa in the care of the sadistic Ramsay Snow.

Castle Black

Stannis sits down with Jon yet again, only to be told that Jon is refusing his offer to become a Stark. Stannis notes that he's as stubborn and honorable as his father, but that's not a compliment. "Honor got your father killed," Stannis says. When did Stannis become the voice of reason on this show?

Ser Davos takes Jon aside and argues the case further, saying that to be the "shield that guards the realms of men" might mean joining Stannis as opposed to just sitting here in Castle Black.

Jon, in his first meeting as Lord Commander, appoints Alliser Thorne as First Ranger. He also appoint Janos Slynt to restore one of the other forts, but Janos tells him to "shove it up your bastard ass." Jon quickly and decisively orders Janos' execution, and slices his head off himself even though Janos begs for mercy with his last words.

Across the Sea

Tyrion, nearly mad from being shut away, finally convinces Varys to let him get some R&R. They go to the first brothel they can find, where Tyrion wins over one of the local whores. However, he gets cold feet at the last minute...are his whoring days really over?

As it turns out, Jorah Mormont is at that very same brothel, and he sees an opportunity to win Danaerys over again: by kidnapping Tyrion and bringing him to her.