'Game of Thrones' 'The Mountain and the Viper' and Tyrion's Fate Is Determined Recap

What, you didn't think anything good was actually going to happen to your favorite characters on "Game of Thrones" did you?

Here's what happened on this week's episode, "The Mountain and the Viper," by location:

The Eyrie

Our little Sansa is growing up: She's brought in to testify in the case of Lysa, who Littlefinger is claiming committed suicide. Sansa comes clean about her real identity, but in a surprising turn, she also corroborates Petyr's story. "You trusted the man you know over the strangers you don't," he says. Yeah, guess so.

Meanwhile, Petyr is already looking to get Robin killed by making the little creep actually go out into the world. Sansa, looking fine as hell, seems excited to watch the kid fail at life.

Fantastic moment as The Hound shows up at the gate with Arya, who cracks up laughing when she hears that Lysa is dead.

Castle Black

Sam and Jon's not-so-merry band of crows commiserate over the sacking of the town that Sam hid Gilly in, and know it's just a matter of time before the Wildlings come for them. Little does Sam know, Ygritte has a soft spot for helpless women with babies, and Gilly is fine. Sort of fine. There's still blood dripping from the ceiling.

Meereen

Jorah's past finally comes back to haunt him, as his original reason for joining Danaerys is revealed to everyone. As a result of his betrayal and spying, Danaerys exhiles Jorah, threatening to have his head if he ever shows himself here again. Well, at least he got to confess his love.

Near the Dreadfort

Ramsay Snow sends Theon/Reek to the nearest holdout under House Greyjoy, in order to convince them to surrender. Roose Bolton is so impressed with Ramsay's accomplishments that he makes him officially a Bolton.

But you didn't come here or watch this episode because of all this. You came because of Tyrion's trial by combat.

King's Landing

One more fantastic scene between Jaime and Tyrion as the two talk about their "simple" cousin's beetle squashing habit before Tyrion's trial. It's a wonderful little pondering on the futility and cruelty of life and human nature before the big event.

Then the time comes: It's The Mountain, Gregor Clegane, versus The Viper, Oberyn Martell. Oberyn comes out as confident as ever, spear swinging, and manages to get Clegane all the way on his back with a spear in his belly. But Oberyn's insistence on squeezing the truth out of him about Elia's death before killing him gets the best of him: Clegane waits for his opening, then pins Oberyn and literally squashes his skull like a soft melon in his hands.

Are we surprised? Can't say we are. Nothing good ever happens to the good characters in this series, much less the ones who live for revenge.