'Game of Thrones' 'First of His Name' and Littlefinger's Grand Plan Recap

Things actually seem to be going well for everyone for the time being on "Game of Thrones," which means some serious s**t can't be far off. Here's what happened this week, by location:

King's Landing

Tommen is crowned king, and everyone seems pretty relieved about it. Even Cersei manages to admit that Joffrey was a terrifying little brat when speaking to Margaery, and offers the Tyrell girl the opportunity to marry Tommen. A generous move by Cersei, and thus a surprising one.

However, Cersei doesn't seem to be letting up on Tyrion's sentencing, so there's that. She hasn't changed too much.

Outside King's Landing

Brienne and Podrick are the new Best Thing Ever, and while he's unwanted by Brienne and honestly sort of bad at the whole squire thing, Pod does manage to win Brienne over by telling her about that time he killed a dude to save Tyrion. If only he was as good at cooking meat as he is at pouring wine.

The Eyrie

Littlefinger shows up with Sansa, and introduces her to the creepy Lysa Arryn and her even creepier son Robin. Remember them? Well, it turns out our manipulative friend Littlefinger is set to marry Lady Arryn. Problem is, she's insane and stuff, so she first plays nice to Sansa, then in a private moment freaks out on her about her dead mother (whom Littlefinger was in love with), and accuses her of seducing him as well. Poor Sansa can't seem to land herself among the sane.

But here's the big reveal: Remember back in the pilot, Ned Stark came to King's Landing because Jon Arryn, the Hand of the King, was poisoned? Robin mentioned that detail here. Well, it turns out that it was Littlefinger who convinced Lysa to have her own husband poisoned, thus setting basically all of the events concerning the throne that we've seen thus far into motion.

Now that...THAT is how you manipulate people.

Outside The Eyrie

Somewhere out there are Arya and The Hound, who continue their trek. Arya has her badass moment of the episode as she recites her names at night, being ridiculed by the Hound, right before saying his name.

However, ol' Clegane doesn't need to worry about Arya much. He wakes up to find her practicing her swordplay, which is a bit on the fancy side for his liking. He then goes on to mock both her style and her dead mentor, before inviting her to try her luck at stabbing him. The result: Needle doesn't make a dent in his armor, and Arya learns a valuable lesson about wearing armor and using big swords.

Meereen

Danaerys now has an army, some dragons, and a navy. However, Jorah warns that the ships they have would be outnumbered by the Lannisters. Dany is tempted to strike because of the news about Joffrey, but hesitates, saying that if she can't control this area, how could she rule the seven kingdoms?

The dragons might help, Dany.

Craster's Keep

Jon Snow's strike team comes upon Craster's Keep just in time to save Bran and his gang, though the two of them don't actually manage to cross paths. Jon and his men manage to take out all of the mutineers, and Jon himself puts a sword right through Karl's mouth, thanks in part to one of Craster's daughter-wives.

Bran, meanwhile, takes control of Hodor once again, allowing him to break free and snap Locke's neck. Adios, Locke. You dick.

The freed women refuse to go with Jon, but also refuse to stay at Craster's. Understandably, they prefer to burn it to the ground.

So, the direwolves are back with their owners, Bran is back on his way north, and Jon is to return to Castle Black as a sort-of hero, though Alliser Thorne will be disappointed that he's not dead.