'Game of Thrones' S04E09 'The Watchers On the Wall' Recap

Listen. I want to know what happened with Tyrion, too. We could spend all day talking about how Oberyn should have just put the spear right in The Mountain's skull and everything would be okay and...sigh.

But that's not what's happening on "Game of Thrones" this week. This week we go to Castle Black and spend the entire episode preparing for and watching the first big clash between the Night's Watch and the Wildlings.

Before the battle begins, Sam and Jon have a little heart-to-heart on the Wall, and Sam adorably asks Jon about Ygritte and what it was like to, you know, do stuff with lady-types. He also brings up a pretty good point: The vow of the Night's Watch says that they will not take a wife or father any children, but it doesn't say anything about hookin' up, bro.

Right on cue, Gilly shows up at the gate with the baby Sam, and the non-baby Sam decides to hide her in a cellar. He also promises her that he won't die, which means of course that he'll probably die very, very soon.

But not today, mind you. In fact, after the death of Pyp by Ygritte's hand (R.I.P Pyp), Sam picks up a crossbow and straight up kills a 7-foot Thenn, like a badass.

Those Thenns are nothing compared to the giants, though, who we finally see in person. Oh, and if they weren't enough, they also ride mammoths. Just as Jon predicted, the giants make pretty quick work of the gate, but are held off...for now.

Alliser Thorne, who has given Jon a hard time thus far, gives him a bit less of a hard time now, as he admits that Jon was right in wanting to flood and freeze the gate. Jon then pretty much ends up in charge of defending the wall, and later heads down to knock Styr's skull in with a blacksmith's hammer.

Ygritte, after firing arrows into pretty much everyone, hesitates one more time when she comes face to face with Jon. That's enough time for Ollie, who was told by Sam to start fighting, to put an arrow in Ygritte. She dies as she lived, telling Jon Snow that he knows nothing.

A lot of fighting and one really amazing continuous shot later (yes, that rotating shot around the grounds of Castle Black with all the fighting wasn't done with CGI; it was all real and took many, many takes), the Crows are victorious...for now.

Unfortunately, Mance and the Wildlings still outnumber them 1,000 to 1, and Jon knows it. So he heads out, unarmed, to talk with/attempt to kill Mance.

What did you think of the most expensive "Game of Thrones" episode yet?