Funny Or Die: 'Take A Stand Against Planking'

To the very best of my knowledge, a parody website has never won a Pulitzer Prize, Peabody Award, Cleo or Humanitas.

But with God, Buddha, Xenu, Goku, Darth Vader and Lord Sauron Himself as my witnesses, I will walk through Hellfire, Brimstone and Ashley Hebert dramatically interpreting Charles Dickens to ensure that FunnyOrDie.com receives every known accolade recognizing this effort in the noble cause of stopping people from doing stupid s***.

Folks, planking is stupid, No less than Mr. "Pimp My Ride" himself, Xzibit, has told you it's flat-out racist - which is admittedly a bit of a stretch, but anything for the cause!

Why so many people get their rocks off laying across gaps between two surfaces - park benches, hand-rails, across diner stools, etc. - and having someone else take a picture of it will forever more be lost on me. But admittedly, I'm no influential voice. I'm just a guy that has a nice gig writing daily about movies, TV and pop-culture minutae.

But 28 years crawling, walking, running, and just generally wandering this big blue rock have taught me one undeniable truth that has been proven and re-proven time and again: no matter how stupid or sensible the advice may be, if someone famous says to do something, somebody somewhere will end up doing it.

So if you won't listen to me, listen to these people who invade your space every week through the magic of television: planking is stupid. The sooner you stop planking, the sooner you can find something else stupid to do, and the sooner we can find ways to make fun of your for it, both for our amusement, and in the vain hope that it will eventually make you stop.

But as a great, great man once told me when I was but a wee Sleepless One . . . you don't have to take my word for it.

Take that of Marielle Jaffe, Sara Paxton, Jake Abel, Kyle Gallner, Caitlin Crosby, David Henrie, Cody Horn, Lindsey Broad, Charles Ingram and Nick Corirossi.