'Family Guy' Season 11, Episode 13: 'Valentine's Day in Quahog' Recap

'Family Guy': season 11, episode 13: 'Valentine's Day in Quahog'

“Valentine’s Day: A day of love, right in the middle of Black History Month.”

We are treated to a very special Valentine’s Day intro, spoofing most generic romantic comedies, especially “Valentine’s Day”.

Lois suggests that she and Peter spend the whole day in bed because it is Valentine’s Day.

Meg tells Brian and Stewie that she has a date with a guy she met on the internet. Stewie gives some dating advice when the doorbell rings. The man, Toby, flatters Meg, saying she’s much prettier than her picture, and they head off.

At Quagmire’s, his one-night stand is still lingering around when he tells her she should be gone, and kicks her out, but not before she curses him, telling him he’ll get what he deserves one day. He goes to unplug her hair straightener when he gets an electric shock that renders him unconscious. When he comes to, he finds he suddenly looks like a woman (“Glenda Vajmire”). He is even hit on by Joe, who pulls him over.

Back at the house, Stewie decides to go back in time to the 60s, to the “Summer of Love”. He arrives in the park filled with hippies and immediately meets and falls in love with a young girl. He vows to bring her back to the future and raise her to be his wife.

He chases after her, and plants a kiss on her. But Carter Pewterschmidt appears, calling the child “Lois”. Stewie realizes now that he just kissed his mom. He gets sick, and quickly returns to his own time… still sick.

On Meg’s date, she and Toby find all the things they have in common. They toast.

“Meg, if you were any more beautiful, that’d be neat.”

She drinks and immediately passes out.

She wakes up in a motel in a tub of ice, a large scar where he kidney was. Toby informs her he harvested her kidney, and it was his first day on the job, so he’s sorry about the size of the scar.

She is more upset that he promised to spend Valentine’s Day with her – the whole day, so she makes sure he sticks around.

At the house, Peter tells Lois that Quagmire loaned him a copy of the Kama Sutra. She doesn’t think it sounds very sexy. She’s more worried about the candle wax dripping on the floor. Peter assures her that Consuela will clean it up, but Lois tells him that she spends Valentine’s Day with her husband.

At the US-Mexican border, Consuela runs across the border into Mexico, and meets her husband Juan.

Back in Quahog, Chris goes to visit Herbert hoping to collect for the newspaper, and meets his grandniece. She falls in love with him, and Herbert agrees to help her get him.

In the hospital, Quagmire (still a woman) sees the doctor to find out what’s wrong, but the doctor dismisses it as hysteria and tries to give him a pelvic exam. Quagmire flees, and realizes that the universe is trying to get back at him for being such a womanizer. He vows to change, and does: by hosting a lesbian orgy.

Back in the house, Stewie asks why Brian isn’t going out for Valentine’s Day. He says he doesn’t know what it’s so hard to find a woman.

On Meg and Toby’s date, the grow closer together, her obviously falling for him.

At home, Stewie offers a solution to Brian’s problem. He invited all of Brian’s ex-girlfriends over to explain why they didn’t work out. They all offer valid suggestions, but Brian ignores them, and, instead, gets defensive, lashing out at them. The women attack him, chasing him through town.

In the Mayor’s office, the Mayor’s attendant shows him pictures of his wife with another mayor. Mayor West confronts him, and a fight breaks out. Mayor Adam West wins the fight and his wife apologizes.

Herbert’s grandniece Sandy visits Chris. Herbert coaches her in what to say, and she convinces him to spend time with her.

At the end of Toby and Meg’s date, he walks her home and gives her kidney back. They kiss.

Peter and Lois say how much fun they had spending the day in bed.

In a clip montage, everyone’s story concludes happily; Mayor West and Carol rekindle their love, Chris and Sandy go on a date (with Herbert watching closely), Consuela returns home from Mexico, Lois kisses Stewie goodnight (causing him to get sick again), Meg puts her kidney in a jar on her shelf, Brian seemingly made up with all his exes, and Peter and Lois sleep soundly.