'The Expendables' Make 'Toy Story' About 20 Percent Cooler In Mash-Up

Oh, "Toy Story" - would the Pixar legacy be quite the same without this perfect trilogy's charm, heart and of course unforgettable animation? It's more than just an animated classic. It's classic filmmaking and storytelling, period.

My, what a pathetic body count it churns out, though.

Nobody would deign to tell Woody that the gallant cowboy ever went "too far" for his best friend Buzz. I would deign to say he never went far enough. Fortunately, the world still has Sylvester Stallone to tell a tale reminding us all that nothing defines a friendship like the quantity of bullets you'll blaze to get his back.

Clearly, IGN gets that there's a far, far better story to be told of Woody, Buzz and friends than Tom Hanks and Tim Allen will ever tell again. This mash-up is a marvel of editing blending the title cards and audio of a trailer for Stallone's "The Expendables 2" with ideally selected and synced footage from Pixar's three-movie saga. Don't mistake the love we have for John Ratzenberger as Hamm the Piggy Bank, but there's just something about Jason Statham's accent that just makes that porker a force to be reckoned with. Bruce Willis could've been amazing as a much more curt but soft-spoken Lotso.

Oh, and this far and away surpasses "Batman & Robin" as the best performance Schwarzenegger's every given donning armor as Buzz. No disrespect intended to Allen, but clearly this is a role Ah-nuld was meant to play, though heard and not seen.

To be fair, can we keep this Hanks-for-Stallone-swap party going? Admit it: you'd pay to see Stallone spend more than two hours talking to a volleyball or pretending to be a 10-year-old boy's spirit stuck in a man's body.