Episode 'The World According to Paris' Season 1, Episode 1 - 'Breaking and Entering' Recap

For some reason when I heard about Paris Hilton's new show, "The World According to Paris," I decided I would give it the benefit of the doubt.

To be honest, I somewhat enjoyed Hilton's first show "The Simple Life." She and Nicole Richie were hysterical and the series was based on the duo actually attempting manual labor.

My how things have changed. The premiere of "According to Paris" opens with news footage of Paris on a balcony in a towel and sunglasses looking distraught.

The actress' gated residence had been broken into for the fifth time and she actually came face-to-face with the intruder. Certainly scary stuff, but something's gotta give girl.

Within the first five minutes we get an idea of the relationship between the heiress and her mother, Kathy Hilton. Seeking refuge from the media - and the creep-o attacker - Paris heads to her parents' home by way of a pink Bentley. She and mom exchange a hug and head to the kitchen for a snack. Was anyone else completely repulsed by Paris' table manners, or lack there of?

Paris decides it would be best if she shacks up with her sister Nikki after the home invasion. Nikki is traveling on business and won't be around much, so Paris decides to give Nikki's crib a little makeover a.k.a. she blankets the place in pink and covers it with photos of herself. Really?

Next we get the pleasure of meeting Paris' boyfriend Cy, her assistant Lexie (who moonlights as a porn writer) and her three best girlfriends, one of whom is Charlie Sheen's ex Brooke Mueller. Paris definitely rolls with an interesting crew.

After a night of partying, Paris has to get up at 6 a.m. to complete a portion of her community service. The court-ordered hours are part of the punishment she was given for what she references as "a little incident last year in Vegas." Newsflash Paris, you were arrested for possession of cocaine. Sorry that your community service "sucks balls" but it could have been worse.

I bet Paris' assistant didn't know she was signing up to paint graffiti and honestly, wearing Louboutin heels to do community service?

The rest of the premiere was more of the same; Paris speaking in baby talk, ordering Lexie around and whining about basically everything.

One would think that someone concerned about their image would try to present themselves in a more humble light, especially after all she has been through. As much as I love the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, "The World According to Paris" is not my cup of tea. I think my IQ just went down a few points.

Check out the clip below from the season premiere where Paris calls Brooke's assistant "a creep" and says she's "desperate":