Episode 'The Voice' Season 1, Episode 1 - 'Blind Auditions Part 1' Recap

Here we are, after weeks of relentless advertising: the premiere of "The Voice." It all starts with introductions for our four superstar coaches, and you know, when you list all of their awards they do sound pretty accomplished.

Can we all agree to stop calling Cee Lo's song "Forget You" though? We all know it's not supposed to be "forget."

If you saw the preview last week, you're in for some deja vu: Christina Aguilera, Blake Shelton, Adam Levine, and Cee Lo Green all sing Cee Lo's hit "Crazy" together, and they totally kill it.

Here's how it's all going to work: the coaches will have blind auditions, judging the competitors solely on their voices. If they want one on their team, they press a button. If more than one coach punches in, then the competitor can choose which one he or she wants to align with. After the blind auditions will be elimination rounds, culminating in live performances.

Taralyn Ramsey is up first, she's making a big deal of being 31 years old. The fact that she won't be seen by the judges doesn't seem to affect her eye shadow choice. The coaches seem unimpressed until Taralyn really starts wailing at the end, when Christina and Cee Lo press the button. Taralyn says she doesn't mean to cry but she totally means to cry, and then she picks Christina as her coach.

Patrick Thomas is up next, from Nashville. Patrick is wearing his cowboy hat. If Patrick ends up with a choice, Patrick will clearly be choosing Blake. Sure enough, as soon as he starts singing, everybody leans over and looks at Blake, but Adam and Cee Lo are the first to turn...followed eventually by Blake. Christina remains resolute. Way to stick to your guns, Xtina. She explains that she didn't pick him because he's out of her genre, and while the other coaches try to state their cases, Patrick, sure enough, picks Blake for his country connections. Everyone is horribly shocked.

Jared Blake is up next, he tugs at everyone's heartstrings by relating tales of turning his life around for his kids after lots of drinking and drug abuse. Unfortunately, these are blind auditions, and the coaches aren't impressed.

Vicci Martinez is up next, and she has an unfortunate disorder where her face is always in shadow. Oh, wait, they're just making us "play along" with the coaches and judge her with our own little blind audition. Vicci sings Adele's "Rolling in the Deep," rather angrily. Cee Lo and Christina turn almost immediately, but Blake and Adam hold off. Vicci has a choice to make, and she goes with Cee Lo. A good choice for her based on her vocal quality, I think.

Sonia Rao is also up. She says she's all in for singing and doesn't have a back-up plan. Looks like she should get one, because no one chooses her. Cee Lo drops an f-bomb when he sees the lovely Sonia. See? It's not "Forget You."

Elenowen is up, they're a married duo who lives in their parents' basement. These two look like winners. They sing the duet from "Once," actually quite well. Blake and Cee Lo turn, maybe out of sheer curiosity. Good lord, these two are trying way too hard to be adorable. The entire viewing audience rolls their eyes in unison. Eventually, Elenowen goes with Blake.

Frenchie Davis is up next, she was a contestant on "American Idol" but got disqualified for posing for topless photos when she was 19. Now 31 (and bald), she's back on the vocal competition scene. And clearly NBC isn't as strict about their stars as Fox. After a long period of deliberation, Christina finally turns around. The two should be a nice match for each other.

Kelsey Rae is the next singer to the stage, and she's happy to be judged on her voice and not her stunning good looks for once. Don't you feel bad for her? Kelsey turns Adam and Cee Lo almost immediately, but Christina sneaks in at the end. Ultimately, after some bad editing, she goes with Cee Lo. Will Adam ever get any team members?

Jeff Jenkins is a Texan boy who lost his mother recently...so let's hope he gets picked up, or it will be really depressing. Sure enough, Cee Lo and Adam turn quickly, with Christina following. Surprisingly, Blake holds off for a long time despite Jeff's clear country style...but eventually he turns as well. Jeff gets some serious praise from the coaches, but chooses Adam. So finally Adam has a team mate, and it's a good one!

Rebecca Loebe is the next singer, and she's homeless. She's doing the Jewel thing and living out of her car. She sings a strange arrangement of Nirvana's "Come As You Are," and turns both Christina and Adam. Both coaches explain that her creativity in making the song her own was what hooked them. Rebecca showers Christina with praise, but ends up going with Adam for genre reasons.

We're about to get a "Real Housewives of New Jersey" cross-over with Joann Rizzo, a mother from NJ who's looking to overcome her age. Sadly, no turns for Joann.

Xenia, a 16-year-old from Temecula markets herself as a shy, quiet girl. Her voice is surprisingly mature and soulful, which eventually turns Cee Lo and later Blake. Blake sells himself hard, which eventually wins Xenia over. She looks incredibly uncomfortable up there, so he'd better be ready to teach her some showmanship.

Tje Austin is the next contestant that we're not allowed to see. He definitely has a very smooth voice, not a typical Texan twang. Both Cee Lo and Adam turn, and Tje (whose name is ridiculously spelled) goes with Cee Lo, which is definitely a good choice for his style.

Javier Colon brings in his two adorable daughters, which is totally unfair. But he wouldn't have needed the extra help even if these weren't blind auditions: he turns Adam and Cee Lo even before the chorus of "Time After Time," and Christina turns shortly after. Blake holds off until almost the very end, but finally turns after an impressive run from Javier. With all four coaches turned, they have to sell hard, and they do. At the end, Javier goes with Adam, who suddenly has a very impressive team.

41-year-old Beverly McCllelan is the last singer of the night, a tough-looking lesbian with a rock n roll mentality. She rocks some Janis Joplin and turns both Adam and Christina, who have been competing with each other all night. Eventually, Beverly chooses Christina, evening out the teams at three per coach.

At the end of the first round of blind auditions, here are the current teams:

Christina Aguilera: Taralyn, Frenchie, Beverly

Cee Lo Green: Vicci, Kelsey, Tje

Blake Shelton: Patrick, Xenia, Elenowen

Adam Levine: Rebecca, Javier, Jeff

Watch Rebecca Loebe's Audition on "The Voice":