Episode 'Modern Family' Season 2, Episode 20 - 'Someone to Watch Over Lily' Recap

Dysfunction has always sort of been the name of the game as far as the families in "Modern Family" go. Heartwarming dysfunction, but dysfunction nonetheless. So when Cam and Mitchell need to name a guardian for Lily in their will, they have a tough choice to make: Phil and Claire, or Jay and Gloria?

It's this decision that serves as the theme for the episode: it's all about who's less screwed up, the Dunphys or the Pritchetts. Gloria and Jay are the frontrunners at the start, as Gloria is great with Lily. In fact, she offers to take care of her for the day.

The Dunphys, meanwhile, make a pretty poor case for themselves. Aside from the usual household chaos, Claire is worried about Luke and his, er, "unique" behavior. Claire opts to take him to a child psychologist, but chooses not to tell Phil as her worry is that Luke will end up like him. Phil finds out anyway and makes the interception ("Hello, Claire..."), but becomes upset when he finds out why Claire is worried. The couple is so upset that Luke ends up being left alone in the parking structure.

Meanwhile, Haley is stuck with Alex all day, as her cello lesson gets cancelled (actually, she skips! Gasp!). That means Alex is along for the ride as Haley and her friend attempt to prank a girl who called Haley "skanky." Surprisingly, the two bond over the bad deed (even though they end up being caught by the police for vandalizing the school - another minus point for the Dunphys).

The only thing keeping Cameron from agreeing to name Jay and Gloria as Lily's guardians is Jay's rough demeanor and apparent inability to raise a child properly. But when Jay shows compassion for Manny's fear of an upcoming camping trip, Cameron changes his tune. Too bad he had to fall off a rock wall to get there.

There's just one problem with Jay and Gloria as guardians: Gloria pierces Lily's ears. But you know what? A couple of holes in her ears are nothing compared to the damage the Dunphys could do.

Lines of the night:

"I'm so sorrah."

"Last time she gave me a Woody. She remembered he was my favorite character from Toy Story."

"It smells like feet." "That's not feet."

"I'm just lucky my clown training taught me how to take a fall like that."

"I've had them since I was two! Huge ones!" "What is she?" "Earrings, Phil."

"Awwww" moment of the night:

"Somewhere out there is a girl who's making lists and labeling bins, and he's going to find her."