Episode 'Family Guy' Season 9, Episode 14 - 'Tiegs For Two' Recap

Turns out Peter only owns two white shirts. That's pretty gross. Nine seasons, and he's been wearing one of two shirts? Plus, I bet Peter sweats a lot. And what about all those times the shirt has been torn up while he was fighting the chicken?

Michael J. Fox joke averted, except it's really just been prolonged. Boy, good thing they didn't make us sad by over-explaining the joke they avoided. Oh well, at least they didn't just go for the cheap laugh and actually show... wait...never mind.

Peter gets in fight with the asian guy who runs the cleaners, and the two get into an epic broken-English-fight. Also, we learn that all white guys look like Gene Shalit.

Wow, the guy's name is actually Mr. Washy-Washy.

You know, I'm really glad FG included this Mr. Washy-Washy storyline, for one reason only: old-school Street Fighter II reference!

Brian meets a nice girl named Denise at the jail, who's a fierce liberal. Sounds perfect for Brian! Unfortunately, things don't turn out so well and she refuses to go out with him. So, Brian starts taking Quagmire's class on picking up chicks. Yeah, of course Quagmire has a class on picking up chicks.

Metaphor of the century: "women are a lot like SNL sketches." It turns out that all this time, Quagmire has been in love with Cheryl Tiegs, who appears as herself. Oh, also, Quagmire invented "not!"

When Quagmire's tips backfire, Brian gets revenge by dating Tiegs. Quagmire gets back at him by dating Jillian. For those who might be confused thinking that Jillian is married, remember that her husband Derek was murdered by Diane Simmons. Yeah, that happened.

Quamire's last name is actually Quaggleczyk? Go figure.

This episodes's cutaways: Michael J. Fox spilling wine, Negatron the Decepticon, black woman in hindsight, and "light the beacons!"