Episode 'American Idol' Season 10, Episode 31 - Lady Antebellum Performs, 1 of 5 Voted Off Recap

A big dramatic recap of last night's events open the show, and we're reminded that if anyone is going home, it's Jacob or Haley. Both of them received rare negative comments from the judges, but Haley seemed to really redeem herself with her performance of "House of the Rising Sun." Was it enough? We'll find out after an hour full of off-topic nonsense.

The judges come out, and Jennifer looks like she's wearing a mushroom. Seacrest tries to insert some double entendre into the conversation about Steven Tyler's book, and it seems to go completely over his head.

Let me be clear: most of the time, when the Idols sing their solo numbers, they sound great. But these group things are painful.   These are soloists. They're not used to blending into a group. At least adjust the levels so that we hear someone other than Haley. Anyway, the Top 5 sing "Happy Together."

Back from commercial, it's time for the Ford "please buy our cars" video, which features the Idols doing things they can't actually do, like juggle, do bike tricks, and parallel park. It's okay, Haley. I always hit the curb too.

Now, the Idols are doing a "Hell's Kitchen" cross-over in which they have to make an omelet. They all fail except for Lauren, and Gordon Ramsay insults all of them. Well, that was fun. And pointless. Shouldn't these guys have been practicing their singing this week?

Lady Antebellum performs a duet for us, because if there's on thing this season of "American Idol" needs, it's more country duets. Thanks guys!

Before we get to the first results, we get an adorable little segment talking about how the Idols choose their songs, wardrobe, and other elements. Nah, I'm kidding, it's not adorable. It's an advertisement for Bing. Seriously, do these poor kids have to sign away their entire souls at the beginning of this thing, or just half?

First Results:

Seacrest is going to start diving the Idols into two groups like some kind of game of dodgeball. James is sent over to the other side of the stage as Jimmy says that he was only an 8 out of 10.

Lauren is picked on by Jimmy as well, as he says that her held-back performance of "Unchained Melody" hurt her, and should put her in the bottom three. She's already crying. Man. That girl is fragile as glass. She cries more than James.

But before we learn the fates of these two Idols, Lauren and Jacob have to do a blind taste test. Meaning they have to eat food and guess what it is. When the two of them eat tofu, they look like they're going to gag. Lauren loves the hot dog though.

J.Lo's video and performance come up next, and my god, she's trapped those poor people in those glass boxes! They'll die in there! Oh thank goodness, she has fists of steel to break the glass with. What's up with her pants? Oh, I haven't been paying attention to the song. Something about floors, I think.

Second (Still First) Results:

Jacob is the next one up, and Jimmy says that he had a rough night and suffered from a loss of confidence. He says Jacob was a 6 out of 10. Ouch.

Haley's night is recapped, and Jimmy thinks it was a load of crap for the judges to criticize her for doing an unreleased song. AGREED. Oh, sorry for not doing a song that everyone has heard a million times, J.Lo. I know it's tough for someone who writes music as trite as yours to deal with new things. Haley joins James on the other side.

Jimmy thinks that Scotty gave a "stunning" performance with his first number, but came up a bit short with "You Were Always On My Mind." He thinks that whether Scotty wins or not, he'll have a great recording career. Scotty is the first one announced as safe, so he sits.

Seacrest tries to put Scotty in a tough spot by telling him to stand with the group he thinks is safe. That backfired, and Scotty refuses, so Seacrest pushes him over...to James and Haley.

Lauren turns on the waterworks even harder now that she knows she's in the bottom two. I know she's just 16, but geez. You'd think her dog had just died or something.

Final Results:

No more messing around (finally), and Seacrest gets right down to it: Jacob is the one to go. It looks like he knew it was coming. I think Lauren might be crying even more now. Jacob over-sings his way through "A House Is Not A Home" before he leaves. Chris Colfer did it better.