New 'Captain America: The First Avenger' DVD Extra: Do NOT Screw With Agent Phil Coulson

Something apparently needs clear before we all take one more step toward 2012 and "The Avengers."

Put Thor, Hawkeye, Iron Man, Hulk, Black Widow and even Captain America completely outside your thoughts a moment. You lay a single eye upon Earth's Mightiest Heroes and you know exactly where you stand: on the safe side of the "Ass-Whipping Line."

But have you ever heard what they say about the quiet ones?

File Agent Phil Coulson (played since "Iron Man" by Clark Gregg) under "N" - for "Not To Be F***ed With."

If you're like me and just can't quite scrounge up the $20 that will bring "Captain America: The First Avenger" home Oct. 25 on DVD or Blu-ray, make yours Marvel with this made-for-home-video short called "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Thor's Hammer."

S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Coulson has been dispatched to the New Mexico desert after locals find a recently crashed-to-Earth Mjolnir dug in inside a massive crater. When Coulson gets the call, he has his hands a little full gassing his vehicle and snagging a snack.

He's debating munchie merits when the store faces a robbery in progress.

And if Coulson wants something done right and done fast, it becomes apparent he has to do it himself.

That is one bad pencil-pusher. 'Nuff said.