'Dancing With The Stars' Season 13, Episode 16 Recap

And suddenly, here we are: five remaining couples, one Mirrorball Trophy. Welcome back to “Dancing with the Stars.”

It’s been a season with some captivating, intriguing, and even surprising storylines. Suffice it to say, the remaining five have all done their fans proud, and given us something to talk about week after week. It’s been a wild trip for these last five, indeed.

To think, Rob Kardashian started the season with word leaking that pro partner Cheryl Burke grew openly frustrated at his allegedly weak work-ethic, and that mother Kris Jenner had brow-beaten into him not only that he must top sister Kim’s previous three-week stint during her own season but that he somehow owed his family a stint on the show.

Week after week, though, he’s blossomed into a fan-favorite and possibly a finals sleeper.

There’s also Nancy Grace. The abrasive cable news pundit and ex-prosecutor was an online joke-butt her first few weeks – once due to an apparent wardrobe malfunction, once for maybe/maybe-not passing gas during a post-dance interview – but has grown  in confidence herself with help from partner Tristan MacManus to last possibly longer than anyone pre-season would’ve guessed.

Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy have held on tight and never given up, despite frustratingly inconsistent critiques and an apparently sometimes-volatile dynamic in rehearsals between the intense Maks and naturally competitive Solo. Still, it might’ve been Maks’ throw-down with judge Len Goodman over the trio of assessors’ collective critiques – not to mention calling this “his show” – that has fans keeping the underdog duo around for sheer intrigue value.

Finally, there’s Riki Lake and J.R. Martinez. A “rivalry” of mutual respect but humble desire to go all the way has been the must-see thread since this 13^th season’s early weeks. Martinez, with help from pro Karina Smirnoff, has seemingly danced with all the combined passion and dedication of his fellow Armed Forces fighting men and women – the ones still fighting, the ones who made it back and the ones who made their ultimate sacrifices. Lake, meanwhile, has danced off over 20 pounds over the course of a season and quietly reminded the world she was a dancer and actress before ruling daytime talk was ever a gleam in her eye.

Though the two have traded Leader Board thrones week after week, both have done so seemingly thankful every single week for one more week on the dance floor. They’ve become the Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa of the ballroom.

But this week, it was five couples, two dances each, and each pair’s fate once more in the fan’s hands. And this week, in Round Two following the usual first dances, the pairs got their songs live on-air minutes before having to deliver their second “Instant” routines.

This week, Kardashian and Burke go to set up their first-round quick step before their second-round instant jive. Kardashian was hoping to hold on to the pair’s second-place Leader Board standing after Week Seven.

Kardashian entered rehearsals visibly fired-up but looked to Burke to be fully honest about his flaws.

“We really have to make sure your technique is better than ever,” Burke told him.

True to form, she drilled him on posture and position repeatedly.

“I’m not going to go easy on him, especially this far into the competition,” she said.

A-Ha’s “Take On Me” never looked so good. It was clear Burke had drilled him hard. Kardashian brought a gleeful flair to the pair’s first number and looked confident, disciplined . . . oh, and pretty pleased with an awesome standing ovation for how far the most low-key Kardashian has come.

“When you started, I thought this isn’t going to work. That opening was terrible,” Goodman remarked. “But once you got into the hold, the whole thing changed. Your posture was good . . . Your best dance so far.”

“You were steelier than a drag race,” Bruno Tonioli gushed. “It’s incredible, the improvement.” Carrie Ann Inaba also noted his improvement week after week, called him the “ideal contestant” for the show, and combined, the three gave them a near-perfect 27, a season-high for them.

Following that up, Solo and Maks hoped to top what was a much-improved Week Seven samba and hopefully dance their way closer to the finals.

“I think at one point what happened was we became too competitive, and too much of ‘Get it done at any cost’,” Maks admitted. Solo said “Here, there’s too many insecurities . . . I’m just a girl.”

The pair agreed during rehearsals that they would ease back their respective throttles and just enjoy the ride without either sweating quite so much over winning and more about putting out their best. That included bringing Solo to a casual dinner with Maks’ family that actually had the pair smiling. And though the pair’s timing looked conspicuously out-of-sync once or twice in a few close-ups of the duo’s feet, Solo was as feminine, graceful and radiant as she’s looked all season. The newfound lightness between the two was more than evident.

“What’s going on tonight? It’s the night of miracles!” began Tonioli. “Light, breezy, radiant – you never moved so well! Your best dance yet!”

Inaba greeted the pair with a pleased hug. Goodman finally said “It’s your best dance yet. You’ve fulfilled your potential.” Who would’ve thought three weeks ago that the pair would’ve notched a 27 to probably keep themselves alive and have a shot at the semifinals?

It’s been said before, and it bears repeating: the more pressure Lake places upon herself during rehearsals, the more at-ease she appears come show-time. Not only that, but she and Hough have had great luck with the waltz this season, perhaps because Lake seems to question her ability to keep up with the younger Hough’s cardio when the pair draws faster steps like the jive or quick step.

Though she took sole possession of the Leader Board crown during Week Seven, judges gave Lake a tsk-tsk over her keeping her shoulders up during the pair’s paso doble. So naturally, Hough kept a watchful eye during rehearsals. “We have to work hard to make sure she keeps that beautiful frame of hers all during the dance,” Hough said.

“I’m so over-tired and so sore. It’s complicated to learn these long routines,” Lake said. But when Lake and Hough sought the wise words of “Dirty Dancing” icon and former “Dancing with the Stars” contestant Jennifer Gray, Gray simply told Lake to enjoy her run, because when the show ends, she’ll miss it.

“This is the first week I’ve felt like ‘I want to keep this up, I want to keep taking dance’,” Lake said. And could the duo have danced a more appropriate dance than Lake waltzing to “Natural Woman?” True to form, Lake displayed form and grace easily on par with her previous waltz this season to the theme from Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho.”

“Your movements are exquisite. What I love and what makes you so special is that when you dance, you lose yourself completely in the dance,” Inaba praised.

“This was like a river, gently going through the dance,” Goodman said, who also said that Lake’s footwork still needed polish if she wanted his perfect score.

“It’s incredible what you put in,” Tonioli said. The verdict this week? A 28, complete with a perfect score from Tonioli. Lake isn’t going home this week. I’ll call it now. In fact, I would be insulting if I kept calling her an “underdog.” She’s my pick to take the Mirrorball.

Grace just barely survived the bottom two, with David Arquette being sent packing instead.

“Just when I’m down, that’s when I come out fighting,” Grace said of this week’s tango. During rehearsals, it took concerted effort for her not to match MacManus ‘tude for ‘tude sometimes. Their tango looked solid, but at this point, is “solid” enough? The dance lacked the snap and intensity the judges often seek out in that step.

“Week Two, you did your best dance for me. And since then, you’ve hit sort of a plateau. But after all these weeks, up you’ve gone!” Goodman said.

“I just love your spirit. You are the friskiest girl I’ve ever met,” Inaba said. “Your toes weren’t quite pointed as much as I would’ve liked, but great job.” The pair received an overall 24 – not bad any other week, but that’s rough in a week where the first-round scores hovered near perfection.

Closing out the first round, Martinez and Smirnoff resumed their game of “Can You Top This?” with Lake and Hough after a Week Seven tango that sent the duo down to the bottom-half of the Leader Board.

“I was really down about it,” Martinez said. Smirnoff wasn’t having that though, as she first congratulated him on making to the final five couples before she pushed a perfect score-chasing Martinez every ounce as hard as he pushed himself to nail their waltz. It’s fascinating when Martinez and Lake dance the same steps in the same week.

Lake wins her crowds with grace. Martinez, more so with exuberance. But both have technique on their sides. And as ever, Martinez looked nearly flawless. Standing ovations don’t always begin during the dance like theirs did.

“It was like a musical Valentine’s card,” Tonioli said. “You really made beautiful music with Karina.”

“You have this incredible natural grace and fluidity when you dance, but tonight, something happened in the middle that was magic,” Inaba gushed. Goodman said “Each week is a battle. But just like the soldier you are, you came back with all guns blazing.” And with that, Martinez went positively Tom Cruise-on-Oprah as he received the season’s first perfect 30 to close the first round with an exclamation point.

Round Two was led off with a jive to Hall & Oates’ “Maneater” by Kardashian and Burke, prepared – as with all the instant dances – with 20 minutes to flesh out a routine from the time the song is drawn right after the first-round dance. Kardashian brought all the energy, none of the nerves and solid if pretty basic technique. Would the judges be forgiving, given the extemporaneous prep time?

“The thing is, there was no glaring mistakes,” Goodman said. “I thought you did great. But you need to flick a little bit more. Sharpen the feet a little bit.”

“It’s all about the kicks and the flicks,” Tonioli said.

“I was impressed with the seamlessness of the transitions,” Inaba said. Overall, the instant jive was good enough for a 24.

Solo and Maks once more drew an Avril Lavigne tune – “Girlfriend” in Week Two, “The Best Damn Thing” this time around – and Round Two’s second jive, which Solo admitted “wasn’t (her) best dance.” Could’ve fooled me. She was light on her feet, gleeful and might’ve actually looked better than in some of her rehearsed routines.

The duo even curiously kept dancing right on through a few measures or so after the music stopped.

“You were like a wild child!” Tonioli said, with a few constructive critiques of keeping her knees straight and finishing her moves.

“Definite improvement over the last time you danced the jive,” Inaba said.

“This was fantastic!” exclaimed Goodman to thunderous applause. The best damn thing? Well, one would almost think so: with Goodman seemingly getting even for his previous go-round with Maks, the pair earned a 25.

Lake and Hough took the floor next with a jive of their own to “Land Of 1,000 Dances.” Why in Heaven’s name does this woman ever question whether or not she can match Hough’s cardio? Lake looked as confident, footloose and frisky as ever, clearly feeling the old-fashioned Wilson Pickett groove.

“There were a few moments where I felt like you stopped and forgot where you were going, but you got right back into it,” Inaba said. Tonioli agreed saying it “wasn’t terrible,” but Goodman added “It’s a tough step, and you did very, very well.” Lake humbly apologized for “disappointing” everybody, seemingly to gasps from the crowd and an almost admonishment from Hough for being too hard on herself. Still, a 24 for the instant dance is still fine.

Second-to-last, Grace and MacManus took the floor with their own jive to the jazzy “Upside Down” and she once more danced her heart out like there was no guaranteed Week Nine. She brought the sass and looked sharp, but had to follow three solid jives.

“You’ve come to the ball and lasted eight weeks. But for me, it’s midnight and it’s time to go home,” said Goodman, bluntly.

“The jive is a very energetic dance. It has to be sharp, it has to be tight, it has to be compact. It was a little bit loose for the jive,” Tonioli said. Inaba added “You got lost too often in the choreography.” All in all, after what sounded like death-sentence critiques, the pair earned a 20. Like her or not elsewhere and otherwise, if this is Grace’s last week, she has absolutely nothing of which to be ashamed. It’s been a stellar, Cinderella run that’s displayed real spirit on her part.

Martinez was admittedly exhausted, headed into his and Smirnoff’s show-closing jive. More interestingly, the duo was penalized for their first jive earlier in the season for “too much Lindy-hop” per Goodman and a lift that Inaba gave a tsk-tsk. Not so much, this time.

For one thing, the pair drew Little Richard’s instant crowd-pleaser “Tutti Frutti.” For another, I call emphatic “bulls***” on Martinez claiming he was tired. As always, he was charismatic and electric with every last move. Much like she did with Mario Lopez previously, Smirnoff lucked out with one quick study for a partner. Smirnoff actually looked more breathless than her partner.

“Your side-flicks were sensational! Your timing was impeccable! You’ve got it man, you’ve got it!” Tonioli screamed.

“You are in a class all your own. There is nobody even coming close to you guys tonight,” Inaba said.

“You’ve got the X-factor and the feel-good factor mixed together,” Goodman said.

Before the show went live, the 13^th season hadn’t seen a perfect score. After this week, Martinez has now collected two.

Give this round to the soldier. But Lake is going absolutely nowhere.