'Dads' Season 1, Episode 5: 'Oldfinger' Recap

There's a celebration at the office for Dan... though no one is sure who that is. Warner likes to have parties for every small celebration because his birthday is on 9/11.

Crawford gives out cigars, but Veronica tells them they can't light them. She hates the smell, and also it's company physicals day. The boys need to be in good health to have their insurance approved.

They all go up to Eli's apartment to smoke the cigars and drink tequila. As the boys get talking, Eli decides Crawford and David should get physicals as well. Warner reveals he is frightened by doctors, but Eli insists he go.

All four men go to get their physicals. The doctor comes out to read his results to the group. Eli and Warner, it turns out, are in terrible shape, though Crawford and David should keep doing whatever they're doing. He advises the boys to do whatever their fathers are doing for a week, and then come back to be re-evaluated.

The guys realize they have to be like their fathers... eating, drinking, and pooping. David gives Eli advice about eating Chinese food and spending the rest of the day in the bathroom. Crawford gets Warner drinking.

The men continue to instruct their sons on how to be "healthy," like yelling at the television.

Eli and Warner go back to the doctor, who notes they have turned their health around. The doctor prepares Warner for a prostate exam. It seems to take an extended amount of time... the doctor has abruptly died. Inside of Warner.

They try to get the doctor out, but... well, Warner is clenching too hard and can't seem to release. The EMT comes, but they don't have the correct equipment. Camilla comes in, horrified, and the EMT realizes they all went to school together. Crawford and David arrive to observe the situation. Crawford tries to "push in to pull out," like a Chinese finger trap. That only makes things worse.

Somehow Edna arrives as well, and a fireman, Veronica, and a priest comes to give a prayer over the dead doctor. And then the dead doctor's wife.

Finally another doctor arrives to give Warner a muscle relaxant, and the doctor falls free.

At work, Warner is surprisingly calm about the situation... but he's ordered a new desk, a tall one, and he plans to stand for the rest of his life.