Chris Brown's Tweets Have Pissed Off His Mother
by Sean Comer(Warning: While facts are used in the following article, it also contains one or more of the following ingredients: opinion, satire, sarcasm and weapons-grade snark. The opinions expressed are those solely of the author and do not represent the collectives views of Yidio ownership/staff, the Irken Empire, the Democratic Order of Planets, the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes, the Springfield Isotopes, the planet Gallifrey, the Super Friends, the Justice League, the Teen Titans, the X-Men, the Mushroom Kingdom, the Umbrella Corporation, the Borg, Wookies, Ewoks, Klingons, Vulcans, elves, dwarves, orcs, hobbits, the Sinestro Corp or LexCorp. Reader discretion and a thick skin is advised.)
Well, it seems we've found a "hater" Chris Brown really can't afford to tell to "F**K OFF": his mother.
Not unless he wants to have a conversation that probably includes the phrase "Boy, go out back and cut me a switch."
It seems Joyce Hawkins has about had it with her son's "Praise me, for it has been three years since I mauled a woman!" routine, whether dozens of adoring meaty punching bags with girl parts on Twitter would tattoo "Everlast" on their sternums for him or not. Recall that Brown threw a Grammy-Sunday Twitter conniption fit because plenty of people shockingly haven't forgotten that forgettable moment on Grammys Eve in 2009 when he punched, choked and bit then-girlfriend Rihanna - and saw fit to remind him that they found it degrading to women everywhere that he was allowed two showcase performances during the 2012 ceremony and got to accept his Best R&B Album trophy.
Finally sick of being reminded that many people would like to make him useless to a woman forever more, he finally snapped "HATE ALL U WANT CUZ I GOT A GRAMMY Now! That's the ultimate F**K OFF!" That was dumb enough. Dumber, arguably? That he then deleted it and told people that he didn't send it.
That didn't exactly get Hawkins off the warpath.
A source claims, according to The Hollywood Gossip, "Chris didn't tweet that, someone does his postings to his Twitter page and when he saw that he ordered it taken down immediately."
Hm. As I've said before: once it's out, you can't shove toothpaste back into a tube.
"Joyce is absolutely livid that those vile words and rants were posted on Chris' Twitter page. She isn't buying his excuse that he didn't post it," another source claimed. "She had told him repeatedly that it is his Twitter, only he should be posting to it, period. She feels like people were just waiting for a negative reaction.
"She had begged Chris to just ignore it and now that he didn't listen, she is just beside herself that after such a successful performance at The Grammys and winning the award, people are now talking about this Twitter controversy," the source continued. "It's time for Chris to grow up, and his mother told him that. Chris is his own worst enemy and she constantly worries about how he reacts to stress."
Here's hoping part of that conversation about growing up included a phrase he's hopefully heard plenty of times already: "You beat up a woman. How exactly did you think people would react?!"
No matter how much this backwards, arrogant waste of breath tried to insinuate that he should be used in the same context as the phrase "ROLE MODEL" - yeah, haven't forgotten THAT gem, either - he's not remotely entitled to anything, especially not when his other tweets took the juvenile strategy of pointing out all the supposedly worse things others do.
"Strange how we pick and choose who to hate!" he tweeted. "Let me ask u this. Our society is full of rappers (which I listen to) who have sold drugs (poisoning).
"But yet we glorify them and imitate everything they do," he continued. "Then right before the worlds eyes is a man shows how he can make a Big mistake and learn from it, but still has to deal with day to day hatred! You guys love to hate!!! But guess what???"
Then, the "Grammy" tweet.
First off, when many of the people who imitate what the "poisoning" rappers of whom you admit you're a fan get caught, do you know what often happens? Jail. Prison. Shame. What happened to you? You got probation and community service.
Second, not everybody "loves to hate." They just don't like a man who beats a woman, then acts like he's owed something because he can go three years without beating another one.
Finally, take this into consideration: according to THG, Brown cleaned out his Twitter account. It was reportedly down to 11 tweets as of the original articles writing.
Think about that a second: after going through all of his activity, he could find a total of 11 tweets that he could look at and figure lacked anything inflammatory.
Eleven tweets.