Brad and Angelina: Are the Rumors They Will Wed This Weekend True?

Are Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt jumping on the wedding bus that seems to be zooming through Hollywood this month?

Rumors flew that the two might be making it official this Saturday at their chateau in southern France, as there seem to be some mighty mysterious party-like goings on, like a giant tent, at their chateau in southern France. Sorry, I’m just not ready to let that one go yet.

However it’s looking like everyone is getting excited over nothing.

Any big event is more than likely a party being arranged to honor the "Moneyball" star's genetically blessed parents on their 50^th wedding anniversary, like a good rich son who owns a French chateau with room to spare.

More cold water on the dream of Brangelina finally uniting as one? Well, it would be illegal.

According to French law, couples have to marry at the town hall, unless they happen to have a private chapel at their flipping chateau and are planning on having a religious wedding. Civil ceremonies performed at a civilian’s own home would be considered invalid.

So there goes that idea.

Unless, of course, Jolie and Pitt are totally in on this and were hoping to give the appearance of marriage yet maintain their vow to not marry until everyone could legally do so?? Probably their fake vows will be some kind of really touching plea for equality, and then Angelina will just pick a child at random from the audience to adopt while Brad kind-heartedly lets the guests stroke his facial hair.

Yes, yes that seems about right.

Well, anyway, this would probably be the wrong weekend for the power couple to wed. We’ve already mourned the loss of Natalie Portman, and Jolie and Pitt are way too well mannered to steal the thunder away from gooey-eyed Zach Galifianakis, who is marrying tomorrow.

And when the two finally get hitched, I want it to be a truly monumental affair.

Wait, they. I meant they.