'The Bachelorette' Preview: Tell Me He Didn't Say That...

The ladies that take part in ABC's "The Bachelorette" receive my snark on a regular basis. Usually, they absolutely earn it, too.

In this case, I'm rooting for Emily Maynard tonight to display hitherto-unheralded kickboxing skills and destroy a contestant.

Should the typical ree-damn-dick-you-lous  nunf**kery not be incentive enough to at least DVR tonight's episode, rest assured fun will be had seeing how contestant Allesandro Goulart escapes the week outside a body bag, let alone still residing in the North Carolina mansion. As the preview below shows, he at one point tells single-mom Emily that he doesn't view her daughter Ricki as a "bonus."

I guarantee you, I've had the world's finest English grammarians working 'round the clock innovating new terms that describe what happens if you so much breathe out of rhythm when referencing particularly a single mother's child.

In the meantime, I think I've found a close approximation.

Keeping in mind also that after everything fell apart last year with former two-time "Bachelor" Brad Womack, Emily is coming across this season not so much like she's looking for a husband, as auditioning potential substitute father figures for Ricki.

If he survives the week, his victory just might be preordained by a power higher than Disney or ABC.

And that's getting lofty. Check out the link right here.