Ashton Kutcher: 'I Can't Replace Charlie' on 'Two and a Half Men'...Sheen Agrees

Ashton Kutcher is remaining humble now that he has been confirmed as Charlie Sheen's replacement on "Two and a Half Men"...even in the face of reportedly earning $1 million per episode.

"I can't replace Charlie Sheen," said Kutcher, "but I'm going to work my ass off to entertain the hell out of people!" Kutcher's experience with sitcoms goes back to "That 70's Show," so he might, in fact, be the perfect person to replace Sheen on the CBS show.

Sheen, meanwhile, gave due respect to Kutcher but stopped before giving any respect to "Two and a Half Men" or its producers. "Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant performer...oh wait, so am I!" Sheen told TMZ.

"Enjoy the show, America. Enjoy seeing a 2.0 in the demo every Monday, WB," he added.

With Sheen's nationwide "comedy" tour over and his role officially replaced, Sheen probably shouldn't be mouthing off. Or, maybe he should: after all, it got him all of this attention (except from us...you can thank Lent for that one).

Considering the monstrous numbers for the "Two and a Half Men" cash cow, it would take a true disaster for the show to tank in the way that Sheen is suggesting. A 2.0 rating in the demo would be a drop of about 50%, unlikely considering that Kutcher's youth might help to bring in younger viewers. Even reruns of the show were bringing in about a 2.8-3.0 around the time Sheen went all tiger blood on us.