'American Idol' Season 11, Episode 7 Best and Worst of St. Louis Recap

Eight years ago, Carrie Underwood auditioned in St. Louis, and also had a really annoying midwest accent. The intro to this episode wants to imply that we'll see another Carrie here. I am skeptical.

So is Walter the taxi driver, who complains to the cameraman about all the traffic that the event will create. I would hide in my house for the whole week if I were tehre.

Steven marks the occasion by making his "a few girlfriends from here" joke again. It's a metaphor for the ridiculous monotony of the audition rounds.

And with that, here are those auditions:

Best:

Johnny Keyser attempts a sob story about his parents divorcing, but then they show him wakeboarding with his dad and nobody will feel sorry for him ever. Luckily he has an impressive voice with great range. The judges are ridiculously impressed, and keep telling him to keep singing.

Rochelle Lamb follows a montage of hopefuls, and is another one of those "he held me back" women. Boooo, get a new backstory! She's a strong country singer, and she has her young daughter up there with her too. She says it was the "biggest dream I think I ever done in my life." What?

Reis Kloeckner (don't hold me to that spelling) talks about being bullied at his Lutheran school. Might have been because his name is Reis. He has a nice voice, but he does this weird exhalation thing at the end of each phrase that's kind of annoying. We'll see if he drops that. Steven says his audition "was so beautiful it made me cry." I wouldn't go that far.

Steven gives a pep talk to the next contestant, Ethan Jones, who has cut his forehead. For a moment it seems as though that's going to be the hook for his audition, but then he tells us that his dad went to rehab. He sings "I'll Be" pretty nicely, and then we hear a very personal conversation between him and his dad.

Lauren Gray is the last contestant of the day, so of course she's great. Her dad looks like a mix between Steven Tyler and David Carradine. She has a very full, soulful voice with some nice character. She'll go far for sure. She makes Jennifer cry.

Worst:

We're given a silent movie version of one particularly bad contestant's audition. Dumb.

Oliver's awful rendition of "Kiss from a Rose" starts a montage of awful singers, of which I am truly tired at this point. Can we go back to the silent movie gag?

During the break, we're "treated" to Madonna's new music video featuring a neutered MIA and Nicki Minaj. This is all some sort of preview for the Super Bowl performance from the trio, I suppose. And then it cuts off abruptly. Thankfully.

Mark Ingram works at the hotel, and brings in a chorus of other workers with him. He almost sings well, but it's a little overwrought, and his voice breaks quite a bit. You can't fault his enthusiasm. Who are these people they got to pretend they're guests at the hotel hearing him sing? That was weird.