Watch Diamonds on Wheels

Diamonds on Wheels is a British comedy crime movie from 1973 directed by Jerome Courtland. It stars Patrick Allen, George Sewell, and Derek Newark in lead roles. The movie revolves around a group of misfit criminals who attempt to rob a convoy of trucks carrying diamonds worth millions of dollars. The theft is masterminded by "The Brain" (Patrick Allen), a criminal genius who has spent years planning the crime down to the last detail. He enlists the help of a motley crew of small-time crooks including Brad (George Sewell), a former racing driver; Alf (Derek Newark), a safe cracker; and Cyril (Gerald Flood), a con-man who is an expert in creating diversions to distract the authorities.

The story begins with the team getting ready to execute their meticulously planned heist. They have studied the route of the convoy and know exactly where and when to strike. The convoy is carrying diamonds from an African mine to London’s Hatton Garden. The team has planned each step with care and precision, from a carefully timed train robbery to a diversionary fire-fight at a petrol station to distract the police.

The film succeeds as a comedy because it subverts the expectations of the audience. The criminals are inept in their planning and execution, and their attempts to rob the diamonds are farcical rather than dramatic. The humor arises from their comically useless attempts to execute their perfect heist. Their plans are too complicated, too convoluted, and too dependent on luck rather than skill.

The movie's climax centers around the robbery itself. The team attempts to rob the convoy using a series of elaborate tricks and distractions. Their plan seems to have worked until the police arrive and their plans begin to unravel. The diamond heist turns out to be a complete, hilarious disaster with the team's plan of escape becoming the biggest misfire of them all.

The movie is not all laughs, however. It also has its serious moments. The Brain, for instance, is not the caricature of an evil genius that one might expect. He is a well-educated man who has gone wrong somewhere along the way. Despite his criminal activities, he is a man of honor who is loyal to his team, and his ultimate goal is to retire to a tropical paradise and never have to worry about money again. His character is an example of the complexities that lie beneath appearances, and his motivations are not entirely clear until the end.

The film is aided by a great ensemble cast. Patrick Allen gives a convincing performance as the criminal mastermind "The Brain". He manages to combine intellectual sophistication with a street-level cunningness. George Sewell, as the former racing driver Brad, is charming and witty, and Derek Newark as Alf manages to steal the show with his hilarious portrayal of the bumbling safe cracker. The supporting cast is also notable, with guest appearances by famous actors such as Peter Jones and Nigel Davenport.

The movie's pacing is brisk, the plot is exciting, and the humor is genuinely funny. The script by Hugh Benson is full of witty one-liners, clever setups, and hilarious situations. With all its flaws and comedic intentions, Diamonds on Wheels is still an amusing and entertaining film.

Overall, Diamonds on Wheels is a fantastic mix of comedy and action. It's a classic example of the British heist film genre, and the humor and characters have held up well over time. If you're a fan of classic heist movies or British comedies, then Diamonds on Wheels is a must-watch.