Watch As I Am

As I Am is a poignant drama depicting the story of a young man named Malik, who is struggling to find acceptance and love from his family and peers due to his sexuality. The film, directed by Samuel Gonzalez Jr., explores the themes of identity, self-love, and the consequences of repression, showcasing the harsh realities often faced by members of the LGBTQ community.

The movie opens with Malik (played by Andre Myers) returning home to his conservative Caribbean-American family after a year of living abroad. Right from the start, it is evident that there is a disconnect between Malik and his family. Malik's father (played by Rodney Chester) constantly criticizes him for not being manly enough and pressures him to find a girlfriend. Malik's brothers, who are heavily influenced by their father's ideals, also tease him and make fun of him for being "different." Malik's mother (played by Lourdes Colon) loves and supports him, but is often caught in the crossfire between her son and husband.

Despite the initial tension, Malik tries to make peace with his family and connect with them. He finds solace in his childhood friend, Kyle (played by Jerimiyah Dunbar), who is also gay and has always been supportive of Malik. Kyle introduces Malik to the queer community and shows him how to embrace his true self. As Malik becomes more comfortable in his skin, his relationship with his family becomes even more strained, leading to a devastating ultimatum that forces him to choose between his family and his identity.

One of the most striking aspects of As I Am is the way it unfolds. The movie is split into chapters that are not presented in chronological order, making the viewer work to piece together Malik's journey. This approach gives the film a sense of disorientation that mirrors Malik's experience. The fragmented narrative also draws attention to the ways in which the past can haunt the present and the importance of acknowledging and working through trauma.

Another strength of As I Am is how it portrays the queer community. The film portrays queer characters as multifaceted people with their own joys, sorrows, dreams, and fears. It also showcases the diversity within the community, from the drag queens who perform at the local club to the butch lesbians who run a tattoo parlor. The moments of camaraderie and vulnerability that Malik shares with other queer people are some of the most touching scenes in the movie.

Despite its heavy subject matter, As I Am is not without moments of levity. There are several well-timed comedic moments that provide some relief from the heavier themes. These moments also serve to humanize the characters and show that they are more than just their struggles. One particularly memorable scene involves Malik and Kyle performing a karaoke duet to "I Will Survive," a moment that is both endearing and empowering.

As I Am is also visually stunning. The cinematography is gorgeous, with vibrant colors and striking framing elevating the story. The lighting and camera work during the club scenes are particularly impressive, capturing the energy and excitement of the environment.

In terms of performances, Andre Myers delivers an excellent turn as Malik. He conveys a wide range of emotions, from heartbreak to joy, with authenticity and nuance. Jerimiyah Dunbar is also fantastic as Kyle, bringing charm and humor to his scenes. The supporting cast is equally impressive, with Rodney Chester and Lourdes Colon delivering standout performances as Malik's parents.

Overall, As I Am is a moving and thought-provoking film that offers a powerful commentary on the importance of self-love and acceptance. It avoids cliches and stereotypes and presents a complex and nuanced portrayal of the queer experience. While the subject matter may be heavy, the film is ultimately a celebration of resilience and the power of community.

As I Am is a 2019 drama with a runtime of 1 hour. It has received mostly poor reviews from critics and viewers, who have given it an IMDb score of 4.6.