Robert Pattinson Turns the Tables on K-Stew. Finally.

Poor Robert Pattinson.

First the "Breaking Dawn" star is cheated on, and his philandering girlfriend issues a lackluster apology to the star via public announcement.

If you’ve ever followed the Pattinson/Stewart relationship, you know exactly how much the poor boy loves airing his yummy personal laundry to the public.

So when rumors swirled that the sad-faced, cuckolded actor had high-tailed it back to mother England to lick his wounds, people clucked and shook their head and baked the poor creature a casserole, because he’ll probably need some comfort food in his time of need.

Well, it’s looking like there’s a little more to the story than that.

Apparently, while Pattinson was relaxing in England, le olde U-Haul was driving on up to the mansion shared by Pattinson and his “Snow White and the Huntsman” ex. And it wasn’t Pattinson’s bongs and hair mousse that were getting packed on out.

Since Pattinson owns the home the two were shacking up in, the sexy vampire has apparently decided that, rather than run off and admit defeat, the best course of action is to evict the pasty actress from his property.

And, true English gentleman that he is, not only did he force the sullen-faced lady to gather her stuff and move along, he reportedly had her car towed out of their driveway and deposited unceremoniously across from a McDonalds.

Just in case she wasn’t taking the hint.

Now, this whole scandal has us on the fence. Are we team Rob, wishing to wipe away his salty tears? Do we secretly want Kristen’s sob story to turn our hearts? But the rather abrupt reaction on the part of Pattinson leaves us only one option.

Totally. Team. Rob.

Realistically, if we all shared mansions with our ex’s, who wouldn’t have booted them to the street? Frankly, I know a few cars I would have had towed right on past the McDonalds and into the river, given the opportunity. Probably with the windshields smashed.

So who can blame the guy?

And while he dashed off to England not to cry and listen to Tom Waits, as previous thought, but to escape the dramatics of Stewart wrapping dishes in newspapers that are probably plastered with pictures of her and Rupert Sanders, the star is reportedly enjoying the single life. Gossip is hitting the English streets about the ladies Pattinson has been inviting to his hotel room to, ahem, lend a comforting hand?

I say, let the man eat blonde, giggly British cake. He had his heart broken.

And Kristen? Well, let’s hope the starlet is finding a little stress release in popping the bubble wrap while she packs.