MTV Bans Kristen Stewart-Affair Jokes During VMAs

It's not like anyone needed further proof that the MTV landscape has shifted.

That acknowledged, here's one more exhibit: once upon a time, there's no way a Video Music Awards host would've been warned off cracking wise on any particular celebrity.

Does anybody really suppose Chris Rock was ever warned, "Now, remember: no busting on P. Diddy for that whole gun-in-the-club incident."

And yet, here we are. MTV executives have put 2012 VMA host Kevin Hart on notice that there's to be levity taken from the fractured relationship of "Twilight" stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, Hollywood Life reports. So much for that old suggestion about "laughing so you don't cry."

"They are respecting the severity of the situation, and the relationship they have made with the cast and the films, to not ruffle any feathers," a production source told the blog.

Oh, brother.

Let's set Google Translate from "Spin" to "English": "Look Kevin, we're behind an 8-ball. It's no secret that we have no intention of actually addressing why there's even an 'M' in this network's name anymore when we have about as much to do with 'music' these days as Charlie Sheen has to do with lucidity. It's even becoming abundantly apparent that those Tang-colored goblins from 'Jersey Shore' are only going to keep us afloat so long. About the only things that have kept us remotely relevant have been temporarily resurrecting 'Daria' and 'Beavis and Butt-Head' to remind people when we didn't suck a golf ball through a garden hose, and that Summit Entertainment has enough of a hard-on for us to keep giving us exclusives on these damn movies. We've got to keep the inside track until 'Breaking Dawn Part 2' hits theaters in November. So pretty please, with sugar-lumps on top, don't mock the pale-faces."

Yep. That's right. Summit and MTV are so far under the covers with one another, that MTV dare not make light of Kristen Stewart becoming a Hollywood cliché and getting caught cozying up to her married "Snow White and the Huntsman" director Rupert Sanders. Keep in mind, this is the same network that once sent a camera backstage at the VMAs and taped bands like Slipknot making fun of one of the Backstreet Boys going into rehab.

Look, it wouldn't exactly be a classy thing to make too much light of this situation, anyway. But it shows how low MTV has sunk that it's forsaken what used to be a hands-off approach, in favor of a policy of protecting certain celebrities when it's convenient for the network. It used to be that no one famous face was considered bigger than MTV. I kind of miss those days.

On the other hand, the production source said, "...They also realize it is a live show, so they will expect the unexpected."

See, that's the thing anymore: MTV is so far removed from the entertainment power it once was, that it's hard to imagine the threat of becoming persona non grata at future network functions would really put the fear of God into anybody.

Hell, look at Pearl Jam. Even at the height of MTV's power, they essentially once told the network "That's the first, last and only time you'll ask us to censor ourselves" when they were told to censor the video for Jeremy, and only went on to a few more decades after (and counting...) as one of the world's most popular, best-selling bands without appearing in another music video.

What's the worst MTV could do these days?

Let's find out when the VMAs air live on Thursday, Sept. 6 on MTV.

“They are respecting the severity of the situation, and the relationship they have made with the cast and the films, to not ruffle any feathers.”

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